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Fingertip Knowledge
The age of fingertip knowledge is upon us; we will type our way into the future.
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Social Networks as a Learning Disruptor
Knowledge systems should be supported by social networks of people who talk about that knowledge.
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What is Executive Intelligence?
Executive intelligence is asking the right questions and probing for the truth.
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Belief Systems
Each person has a unique and individual belief system that influences any given situation.
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Empathy
People skills are possibly the most important skills you can master as a leader.
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Communicating with the People Most Important to You
For meaningful and important communications, role-playing ahead of the actual conversation leads to greater clarity and insight for those involved.
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Four Types of Conversations
The four types of conversations are building relationships, developing others, making decisions, and taking action.
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Magic Phrases That Persuade Others
Magic Phrase #1, “I suggest,” says what you want. Magic Phrase #2, “Notice,” says what to pay attention to. Magic Phrase #3, “You can,” encourages the other person to imagine what you want. Magic Phrase #4, “Now,” says when you want it done.
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Body Language for Persuasion
Matching body language says you two are alike, which relaxes the other person by lowering their stress, and helps you get to “yes” more quickly.
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Communicating Virtually
Virtual communication has replaced much of traditional face-to-face communication, and it can sometimes lead to confusion.
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Putting Emotions into Digital Communications
The digital era of communications requires intentional adding-in of emotional expression.
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Connect With Others
Humans aren’t meant to live in isolation, either at work or at home. People need socialization.
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Keep Video Conferences Short
The unconscious mind makes hard work of video conferences, so keep those calls short.
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The Biggest Problem with Virtual Communication
Because virtual communication limits sensory feedback, people new to learn a new way of talking to each other.
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Clear Communication
Don’t assume you’re being a clear communicator; make sure you’re being heard and understood.
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Elevator Conversations
Ditch the worn-out elevator pitch and aim for an engaging conversation instead.
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Being Assertive
Being assertive is essential for communicating effectively, building relationships, and getting you more of what you deserve.
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Effective Internal Communications
Communicating what’s going on inside the institution is tough, particularly when there’s not a need to know to do the job.
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How to Build a Diverse Network
Without diversity in your professional network, you risk becoming narrow-minded and missing opportunities.
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Successful Managers Know How to Communicate
Successful managers share a common characteristic: excellent communication skills. Andy Mulholland explains the importance of these skills, and how they have changed over the years.
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The Importance of Communication
To get the best out of your team, you have to communicate. And as Ian Watt describes, leaders can never communicate too much.
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What Conversations Do I Choose?
Ask, what do I win if I "win" an argument? Is it worth it?
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Principle 2: Come Out From Behind Ourselves and Into the Conversation
If you don't show up for the real conversation, you will miss the conversations that are essential to your success.
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Principle 3: Be Here Prepared to Be Nowhere Else
Be here in this conversation, prepared to be nowhere else.
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Principle 6: Take Responsibility for Your Emotional Wake
There are no trivial comments. Something you said that you can't remember may have emotional consequences.
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The Four Conversation Styles
When we speak, we use a style of communication that is assertive, aggressive, passive, or passive-aggressive.
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The Role of Intuition and Experience in Decision Making
Trust people whose judgment is based on many decisions made in familiar environments with fast feedback.
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Championing
Everyone benefits from a positive, contented and creative workspace. Use time-tested communication elements to create a championing experience in your meetings.
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Negotiation Prep
The majority of negotiation actually occurs before you ever get to the table.
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The Machine That Changed The World
One book gave John Neill the words to explain his ideas. By using "The Machine That Changed the World," he found a way to communicate lean thinking to employees at all levels.
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How to Say No
Although most people say “yes” when asked for help, there are valid reasons for saying “no”—and in some cases, declining a request actually means more than accepting it.
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Relating: Balancing Inquiry and Advocacy
Inquiry asks us to take the other person's perspective; advocacy requires you state your position to have a basis for dialogue. This allows us to work through conflict and leave with some sort of resolution.
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Distance Leadership: Leaders, Technology, Motivations and Management
In transnational, multicultural relations, the more frequent the communications the better.
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Breaking Discussion Strongholds
When an individual with status continually dominates the discussion, the strength to break their stronghold is found in numbers.
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Defuse Heated Discussions
To prevent a tense situation, build a consensus at the beginning of a process.
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The Habit of Cooperation
Organizations and people who are energized are great at cooperation and conversation.
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Learning at the Speed of Trust: Relationship Trust
Trust is like a trust account. By behaving in ways that build trust, you make deposits into the trust account. By behaving in ways that diminish trust, you make withdrawals.
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How to Give and Receive Upward Feedback
At meetings, present your ideas in a neutral way, as by asking if they are any good, and how they can be improved. You can also appoint others as topic leader, facilitator, and devil’s advocate. This will shake up the hierarchy and encourage more candor.
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1. Getting Present
Belle Halpern describes the first element of The Ariel Group PRES model - Getting Present
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Five Steps to Building Your Network
Everyone agrees that a good network is important, so Scott Eblin offers five tips to help you improve your networking skills.
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Handle Resistance in Yourself and Others
Conversations occur on three levels: the content, the other person's emotional reaction to the content, and your emotional reaction to the content and the other person. Try to get your own emotions out of the way, then be a participant observer to levels one and two.
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Conversations Are About Relationships
We used to think about conversations as information. Rather, it’s about building relationships. We form impressions of people within the first 0.07 seconds, before we say anything. View conversations as gardens where we nurture and grow relationships.
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Social Networks for Customers
Joie de Vivre hotels has a social network for its customers that encourages exchanges for travel advice, etc., and provides e-mail addresses of every manager and an electronic matchmaker for hotels and local events. They also hold meetings and quarterly events.
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Transforming your Communication
Forty percent of people make sense of the world visually, 40 percent kinesthetically, 20 percent through sound.
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Give Customer Strategy A Simple Framework
Simplify the message of value that your company offers to clients. Barbara D. Stinnett suggests how to convey complex solutions in an easy to understand, customer-centric fashion.
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Communicating Using Mindfulness
Being mindful, instead of multitasking, makes for everyday communication that improves performance.
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Breaking Down Silos
Create opportunities for individuals from disparate groups to communicate their ideas, interests and concerns in a safe environment.
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Creating Instant Intimacy
Keith Ferrazzi describes how to accelerate strong relationships by focusing on something about that person which engages you such that you genuinely care.
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Team Talk: Communicating Top to Bottom
To ensure messages would be delivered throughout, a CEO briefed the 400 top managers every month. Those managers briefed managers the next layer down within five days, and so on, layer by layer, each within five days. The process took five weeks.
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Five Steps to Building Your Network
To build your network, 1) make it relevant for others by 2) stating your goal or need, 3) making a clear request, and 4) offering to help the other person. This 5) builds and sustains trust over time.
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The Power of Emergence and Weak Ties
Most of us have strong ties with a small number of co-workers. Weak ties know different things and different people. Try them first.
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Habit 4: Think Win/Win
Win/win means agreements are mutually beneficial and mutually satisfying.
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Using Positive Psychology to Communicate
How you say something is just as important as what you say, says Sue Langley. She notes the type of communication that is most productive and that most positively impacts a person--even if that communication is negative.
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Managing Fear in Yourself and Others
Fear triggers cortisol, which works for 26 hours. Interrupt the pattern. Reframe the moment. Label it. Ask what the fright means for you. Refocus. Redirect. If you see others frightened, be present for them. Explain what’s going on and what it means for them.
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Responding to People with Power
If the other person is imposing on our space we may assert our own power in our posture or voice, mimic the person’s power gestures, or manipulate the flow of power by invading the other person’s space.
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Practice Conversational Intelligence in LAPS
L = Listen to connect without judging. A = Ask questions for which we don’t have answers, such as, “What if?” P = Priming. For example, send questions before attending the meeting. S = Sustaining conversational agility skills, such as reframing a conversation.
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Mindsets to Bring to Conflicts
Bring a mindset of “resolutionary” thinking to conflicts: abundance—everyone gets what they need; creative solutions; openness and full disclosure; personal responsibility for the situation; and teaching and learning instead of combat.
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A Good Interpersonal-Skills Toolbox
Caring about others as individuals trumps everything. Other interpersonal skills include using “I” messages, knowing how you want the person to feel and do, using nonverbal communications and, very important, listening.
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Good Communication Is the Lifeblood of Any Organization
Just as blood provides energy to the body, good communication provides energy to the organization. In a survey of the best places to work, good communication identified the most effective organizations. Relations at Herman Miller are based on covenants.
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Playing Communication Games
Senders convey negative feedback through games like It’s-My-Duty. The Sandwich game sandwiches negative feedback between positive comments. The Detective game asks do-you-remember questions. Receivers play the Wounded Animal and Ally Builder games.
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On-the-Level Communication
On-the-level communication is purposeful, direct, respectful, and carries shared responsibility. Givers and receivers both need reflective skills—observing, listening, and empathizing—and expressive skills—questioning, describing, and concluding.
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“Yes, and...” Versus “Yes, but...”
Is there a difference between “Yes, and...” and “Yes, but...”? Yes, and it’s the difference between inclusivity and exclusivity.
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Tying Role Clarity to Internal Customer Service
When two people or groups are in a customer-provider relationship, such as a boss and subordinate or two groups in different silos, let each person or group tell the other what they want and what they don’t want. The exercise improves internal customer service.
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Communication 101, 102, 103, and 104
Talk with people, not above, at, or to them.
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Presence—Actors Have It, Leaders Need It
Leadership isn't about acting, but leaders who can take cues about their presence will captures people's attention and perform better.
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Cultural Communication
Because people from different cultures have different values and customs, it’s important to know how to communicate properly.
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Every Interaction Leaves a Mark
In every social interaction you leave a mark, and you need to make the most of those impressions.
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Deep Listening is Critical to an Effective Partnership
A great collaboration starts with trust and openness at all levels in the organizations.
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How to Open a Conversation
Fumbling the opening of a difficult conversation sets the stage for failure.
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Beware the Joy of Talking
In general, people who talk the most say they learn the most and like their peers the most. These “conversational narcissists” steer the discussion. To deepen the discussion, make supportive assertions (“Interesting!”) and questions (“How did you get interested?”).
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Effective Communication is Key to Becoming a Better Teammate
When you’re flying an F-16, you can’t see threats behind you, but your wingmen can. Similarly, you can see what’s in their blind spots. As a leader, be open to threats that others see. Get your ego out of the way. Be decisive. Speed is life, whether in combat or in business.
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Communication is Key to Successful Leadership
Leadership requires courage and confidence because sometimes you’re unpopular.
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How to Convince People of Your Ideas
Don't try to convince others with facts and numbers. Instead, appeal to their own experience.
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Made to Stick
Ideas that are unexpected, concrete, and easy to visualize are "sticky" -- easy to remember.
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Stories Aren't Entertainment, They're Flight Simulators
Don't use stories as dessert. They should be the main course.
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Earning Relationships
To build a relationship and not just a transaction, use the rules of romance.
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Be a Better Communicator
Being a more effective leader means being a more effective communicator.
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Five Principles That Shape Conversations
By taking time for self-reflection and applying five basic principles, you can positively shape your conversations to improve relationships and workplace outcomes.
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Best Practices for Great Conversations
To encourage dialogue that engages and connects people at all levels, add positive framing and generative inquiry to your conversations.
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A New Way of Thinking and Working
A better understanding of psychology and physiology can have a positive impact on people and performance.
